Please use the discussion topics below to help guide your Parentless Parents meetings. You may certainly want to add your own themes depending on your group’s specific interests and concerns. When new topics come up, please email Allison at and she can share them with other chapters.
1. Traditions:
What are some of the concrete ways you try to keep the memory of your parents alive for your own children? Cooking? Telling stories? Showing photographs? Or have you come up with something unique?
2. Heirlooms:
What do you have that belonged to your parents? Where do you keep these items? Are they on display in your home or stored in boxes? Do you talk about them with your children? And, what are the important steps you can take right now to ensure that these heirlooms, both big and small, are secure for generations to come?3. Celebrating the Holidays:
What are some of the age appropriate ways you incorporate the memory of your parents into the holidays? Do you listen to or sing certain songs? Do you say specific prayers? Do you prepare certain recipes?4. How Much To Share?
Do your children know what happened to your parents? Do they know who they were and what was important to them? Do you discuss Heaven? Or, do you prefer never to speak of those who have passed away?5. Time Warp:
Are you approaching, or have you passed, the age at which your parents passed away? What is the emotional impact of that milestone? Are you worried about the medical realities of inherited diseases? Have you taken any medical action because of these hereditary threats?6. Before & After:
Did you lose your parents before or after your children were born? Was the impact of their deaths easier or harder because your children were alive?7. Age of Your Children:
How does the age of your children affect the way you grieve your parents? Is it easier or harder having young children who will never know their grandparents? Or, is it easier or harder having older children who will certainly be aware of their absence, but who will be able to remember them?8. Your Own Mortality:
How have your parents' deaths impacted the vision you have of your own mortality? How will you be remembered? What steps can you take right now to ensure you leave behind the kind of legacy you most desire?9. Unresolved Issues:
How was your relationship like with your parents? Do those lessons impact the way you parent your own children?10. Dealing with Anger:
Do you feel cheated that your parents died? Were they too young? Were you too young to handle their deaths? Did resentment seep in amongst your siblings? How can you break from that cycle of anger so that it won’t impact the relationship you have with your own children?11. Sibling Relationships:
How did you and your siblings react to the deaths of your parents? Did you grow closer or were you driven apart? How do you handle holidays? Do you still come together? For yourselves? For your own children and grandchildren?Please also see the Appendix in Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Have Lost Both Parents for more questions. You can also email Allison at for additional discussion topics.